Christmas and Motherhood

It's Christmas time, and it is beautiful in Victoria. There are so many holiday activities, many of them free. Everything is lit up beautifully. But as a Mom, I am realizing new emotions that come with trying to do holiday activities with Rebekah. It is funny how I can get so protective or impatient when I want to do something with or for Rebekah, and it doesn't work out the way I want or think it should. And I am surprised by how hard it is not to get drawn into that competitive parent mindset- like "my child was in line ahead of you- why are you cutting line?" or "hey, that little boy got a balloon- why didn't they give a balloon to Rebekah?". So trivial, and so stupid, but I realize the state of my heart from what I am feeling and responding, and realize quickly that is not the attitude or the direction i want to go in when parenting Rebekah and celebrating the holidays. It is challenging though! Protective Mom mode kicks in so easily it seems-- and Rebekah is not even old enough to realize what is going on yet! I realize how I want to model patience and love to her, even in stressful situations... but how easy it is to go the other direction. I am not a patient person naturally, (really, who is?), but i want to be for Rebekah's sake. I want to model patience, loving our enemies (or those who cut in line ahead of us), and being at peace in overwhelming (or over crowded) circumstances. I've also realized that sometimes i have a desire to relive some happy memory from my childhood, which is fine, but sometimes it can't be forced- for example... I have happy memories of going to "lunch with santa" every year when I was little, with my Mom and my best friend & her Mom. It was fun, and i looked forward to it every year. SO, I saw that they had a "breakfast with santa" here and though that might be fun to go to as well with Rebekah. But, this actually ended up being a bad idea. I finally convinced Kyle to go with me, which he did, but it actually embodied everything he doesn't like (crowds, consumerism, and very loud music), so of course he has a horrible time, which didn't make me very happy. It was so crowded, I didn't even take Rebekah to see Santa, there was probably a 45 minute wait to do that. The only reason I thought of doing it was that they were giving away toys/gifts to each child that saw Santa- and of course i always jump in for "free" stuff. Well, anyways, I did not have fun- due to Kyle's reaction to it, and my own disappointment over not being able to relive my childhood memory, and just that it was not fun (loud, crowded, etc). Rebekah actually seemed to have fun- she liked the incredibly loud cheesy christmas music (so loud you had to shout to be heard while eating the pancakes)- she was tapping her feet to it the whole time. And she had fun playing with toys in a playroom they had there. But she probably would have had just as much fun at home listening to music and playing with her toys. Not that it was wrong to go there.. and it was for a good cause, so I'm glad it was busy. But really, it just makes me rethink my goals and expectations for Christmas, for myself as a Mom, for Rebekah, and for all of us as a family. It is really my first time experiencing Christmas as a mother and thinking about what that means. Last Christmas Rebekah was just a little over a month old, and I was too sleep deprived and overwhelmed by new motherhood to really contemplate it, or even really comprehend that it was my first Christmas as a Mom. So now comes a time of shaping our traditions as a family. And thinking about what is really important. Really, neither me or Kyle are really into the Santa thing, or the idea that Christmas is about getting lots of gifts. But I'm not sure I've completely figured out what I DO want it to be about. And so I'm working on that... I want it to be fun, I want it to be about loving others, I want it to be about enjoying time as a family, and as a Christian I want it to be about remembering how Christmas was started in the first place- celebrating the birth of Jesus. what exactly does all that look like? I don't know. But I think I'm realizing more and more what i don't want it to be like. I don't want it to be about large crowds, consumerism, competing with other parents or children, or making sure that we do all the "right" things or buy the "right" gifts. Sometimes, I am learning though, avoiding all of that can be easier said than done!

Rebekah is 1 year old!

Rebekah turned one last Friday. Friday the 13th- but it was not an unlucky day! We were in Vancouver on her Birthday, but actually celebrated her Birthday on Sat. in Victoria with Kyle's parents. I have posted a few photos here: http://picasaweb.google.com/STelmoART/November2009#. Vancouver was beautiful, with awesome snow capped mountains towering above skyscrapers along the ocean, but I didn't really get any good pictures of that. Rebekah did really well traveling there as well. Kyle had some meetings there for work, and we came along. We stayed in a neat hotel on Granville Island, an artsy kid friendly part of Vancouver. For her Birthday we decided not to do the majorly sugary cake, and had strawberry shortcake instead. She actually didn't get as messy as I expected. She got a lot of books, which is good because she really loves books. It is hard to believe she is a year, yet hard to believe she has changed so much in only a year. She is starting to say words now besides "da da", she now says "doggie", "teddy" and other things that I think we can't quite make out yet. She is lots of fun.

a few photos

me and Rebekah waiting for the torch last Friday morning.


The big olympic torch celebration in the evening in front of the Government building (we left before the protesters got there... at least we didn't see any).



Close up of the stage for the torch celebration.




Beautiful views of the sunrise from our condo balcony.

Olympic Torch

The Olympic torch went through Victoria yesterday; actually it started here in the morning and the big celebration was in the evening. Rebekah and I were able to see it go by a few blocks from our condo in the morning, then in the evening we went to the big celebration with some friends. We didn't stay too long at the celebration because it was raining, and apparently we missed some protesters come through and try to stop the torch from getting onto the stage. Kyle wishes we would have stayed to see that part ;).

Rebekah also went trick or treating at the mall here today for her first halloween. I dressed her up as a ballerina. Here they do trick or treating at all the malls as an option for Halloween, I guess as a safer alternative to going outdoors. But it was sooo crowded, it was crazy. Anyways, here are some photos.

Rebekah in her ballerina outfit:


Torch handoff:

Torch on the street downtown:

One of the runners waiting for the torch:

Rebekah playing with a tambourine that they gave out to people waiting for the torch:

Blogging by Candlelight

So we had some craziness in our condo building this afternoon. Aparently someone was repairing the floor in one of the condos in our building, and in the process struck a water line that runs under the floor. They had to turn the water off in the building because of this, so we were without water. Then, soon after the water stopped working, the fire alarm goes off. After helping an older woman and her dog get safely down the stairs (we are on the 4th floor), we come outside. But on the way down, a man leaving the building points out that in the hallway two floors below our condo unit there is water leaking from the ceiling! And as we make it downstairs there is water leaking down from the ceiling, dripping down the exit signs, and onto the floor.
We wait outside, the fireman come and say it’s okay, we can go back inside. So we do- only to find that now we are without power. After an hour or so of no power and no water we decide to venture out to get pizza for dinner since it doesn’t look like any cooking will be taking place in our condo. On our way out to get pizza, a man tells us the rest of the story. Aparently they turned the water back on in the building, but the issue with the waterline in the condo with the floor being repaired wasn’t completely fixed, and there was a break in the main water line or something that caused a lot of water to leak from the third floor down to the second and first floors when they tried turning the water back on. This large water leak then caused the fire alarms to go off (maybe because the water was mixing with the electricity?), and then the water mixing with the electricity caused the electricity to go off automatically… and here I am sitting in my dark condo by the light of my labtop and a few candles and the power still hasn’t been turned back on. But I am very thankful that we live on the 4th floor and not on the second or first, or my condo might be wet as well as dark. Currently I have four hours left on my labtop battery. It was an adventure getting back into my condo after eating pizza, because Kyle went to hear a speaker at the university, and I was by myself with Rebekah, and the hallway to my condo was very very dark (the emergency lights that had previously been on had run out of batteries). I tried finding my condo (all the way at the end of the dark hallway), but after running into the wall several times I went back down, and asked one of the workmen if I could borrow a flashlight and bring it back to him after I got the flashlight in my condo, but he was nice enough to escort me up to my condo. And now here I am, waiting for Kyle to return. Luckily the water is back on. And one nice thing is that after the alarm went off and we were standing outside, we were able to meet some of the people in our building, and met one woman with a four year old who is related to a woman Kyle works with, and she may be willing to trade babysitting with us. That would be awesome. I acctually baked lots of chocolate chip cookies last night and was planning to take them to people on our hall to hopefully meet them and say hello this afternoon, and then all of this happened. So hopefully tomorrow we’ll be able to take cookies to some people and meet some new ones and re-meet a few we met today.
I have started using picassa for photos because it is so much easier to upload them onto there. So here are some photos from the last month or so during my time at Clallum Bay, Seattle, and the ferry back to Victoria. Lots of pretty pictures- click here to see them!

And just as I’ve finished this, the power has come back on… which is good because I couldn’t post this online until it came back on! (my internet wasn’t working without the power).

transitory

I’m spending two weeks in Seattle right now while the owners of our condo use it for their previously planned vacation (planned with plane tickets booked long before they knew they would decide to rent it out to us for two years). On Friday I will move back in for good (for two years).

It’s given me some good alone time, which has been good and refreshing, but also hard to stay present in it and not want to just skip to the future when more is happening.

Kyle is staying in Victoria during this time in another temporarily rented place, but he came to Seattle last weekend. Also, our friends from college, Matt and Annie, spent the weekend with us in Seattle and it was great to see them. They live in Taiwan, so it was such a treat to have them visit. I hope that someday we will get to visit them in Taiwan, although that probably would be a ways down the road.

Rebekah is doing well throughout all of this transition (it has now been like a month and a half that we’ve been moving every two weeks). She can now walk about 5 or 6 steps by herself and stand up on her own. She has finally gotten her first tooth. She is such a joy and loves to make friends with people. Or people like to make friends with her. The day before I left Victoria, I was sitting outside of a café with her, drinking my coffee, and she sat in her stroller watching the people go by on the sidewalk. Just about every person who went by said something to her and she “said” something back, or they commented on her missing sock or on how cute she is. It is kind of funny how much people will say hello to babies they don’t know, but not to adults. I think if we all spoke to each other in the way that people speak to babies, the world would be a happier place.

I found a mom’s group in Victoria from the “meet up” website, and met once with some Moms (or “Mums” as they say there). I hope to meet with them more in the future. Other than that, I think I need to be bold and make some cookies and take them to our neighbors in our condo when I get back. Hopefully we will meet a few more people that way.

Lots of new pics, but sadly I forgot my cord to upload them from my camera. So when I get back to Victoria I will post some.

I'm in love with Victoria

Walking along the inner habor.

The three of us (Rebekah is not very happy)

Rebekah at the beach about a 1.5 hr drive from where we live.

View of the harbor on the trail in front of our condo.

View from our condo.

Okay, we are here in Victoria safe and sound. We've been here for two weeks now. And I am loving it here. I know it's an easy city to love. But I think we have just the perfect location right now. We are within a short walking distance (like less than half a mile) to downtown which has lots of cute cafes, restaurants, shops, etc. The same goes for all that we need- a grocery store, doctors, bank, art supply store, thrift store etc. But altho we are such a short walk from these things, the road we live on is quiet, and we have a beautiful view of the harbor. And there is a trail that begins just outside our condo that goes around the harbor away from all the touristy stuff- just a neat walk around the water, and very quiet. I love having the fast city live nearby, but also the quieter things as well. I love exploring all the different places here. I'd love to try all the restaurants, but of course money doesn't permit that at the moment. But over time I'm sure I'll try a few.

To me this beautiful place and the way God has provided this condo for us is just a huge example of his extravagant love for us. Of course God shows us his love for us in other ways besides material stuff- and honstly I feel a little overwhelmed by how much God has blessed us with this beautiful condo, beautiful location, etc. But I God wants me to enjoy it- so I will! It is just for two years (most likely). But I think it is going to be a memorable two years.

Kyle starts his job on Monday, doing research at the University of Victoria on Hydrogen Fuel cells. He has also found an opportunity to help coach soccer and is super excited about that- he has really wanted to do that for awhile.

We have visited two churchs, one we really liked but it is a long drive and there are no bus routes there, and since we do not have a car we are not sure how we would make it there regularly. We are going to visit another one on Sat. So prayers to find a good church, good friends, community, etc. would be appreciated. We haven't really met anyone here yet besides a few people in the elevator who live in our building. Also, our house still is waiting to be sold back in Chattanooga. So prayers for that would be appreciated as well.

I hope that some of you will be able to come visit us here- we'd love to have you and share the beauty of this place with you.

Victoria, here we come!

After almost two weeks in Seattle, on Saturday we head to Victoria. The trip will include some driving and taking two ferries, and then we will finally see our new home (the condo we are renting). I'm very excited to see the condo, explore Victoria, and settle into our new home. It has been great to visit family, but I am ready to get settled into our own place.

Rebekah has been growing in leaps and bounds on our trip. She is pulling herself up to standing now. And she has actually stood up on her own without holding onto anything a few times. Once she is standing, she can stand for a few seconds on her own. My Mom told me that my brother and I both started walking at 9 months. Looks like Rebekah will be walking soon. She is 9 months old today!

A few days ago we were at a park and while I was pushing Rebekah in the swing, Rebekah looks at the woman standing next to me pushing her baby and says "Hi". At least it really sounded like that and the woman thought so too. Who knows. Not sure if it was really Hi but it might have been. Also seems like she is saying "Dada" to Kyle sometimes now.

So, yeah, lots of adjustments ahead of us probably. But I am looking forward to the adventure. We're still waiting for our house to sell in Chattanooga. We have lowered the price now, so hoping to get some more interest soon.

quick update

well we made it safely to PA and are at my parent's house now. Rebekah was great on the plane, but had a little bit of a hard time on the drive home and hasn't been feeling well today. So my Mom and I took her to the Dr today, and she has an ear infection. :( hopefully she'll be feeling better soon though. I am hoping to relax and de-stress during our time here. rebekah being sick makes that a little harder, but I am thankful for my parents being able to help.

Hard to believe we have left Chattanoooga! thanks to all of you who made the last few days so sweet. we will miss you! we will be in transit for like the next month or so. exciting, but i am sure that by the time we get to finally settle into our condo in Victoria I will be ready for that.

thanks for all your prayers as we've left Chattanooga. please keep praying for us, that our house would sell, Rebekah would feel better, kyle and I would be able to get some rest, and that this time of transition & time with family would be enjoyable and not stressful.

thank you

I just want to take a moment to say thank you to all of you Chattanoogan's who have blessed us in our time here. We have known many people that we are very thankful to have met. Many have come into our lives and then moved or left in one way or another, but I am still very thankful for the time I've had with you. You have truly been a breath of fresh air in a barren place. I know my last post was a bit of a downer- I just want to be sure that for those of you who read this and have known us in our time in chattanooga, you know we are grateful for every smile, every encouragement, every blessing large or small that you have given us. we have had some very sweet friends here (both currently and in the past), and i hope that we will keep in touch. when Rebekah was born, you provided so many meals and gifts and necessities for us, it was unbelieveable. Our neighbors, Ryan and Amanda, have been so amazing and have blessed us in so many ways. The two churchs we've went to while here have blessed us in many ways- St. Elmo Ave. Baptist has such a huge heart, and always treated us as family, even after we started going to a new church. Downtown Vineyard has been an encouragement to us. Our small group has strengtened us. Many people have offered to help us get ready to move in various ways. I am very grateful! I am gateful for the people who have adopted our pets. I am thankful for the people we've met in Chattanooga, the blessing you have been, the friendships both now and in the past. You have sustained us, encouraged us, and helped us. You have stuck with us during our physical and spiritual journey in this time, which often has not been easy. Thank you. We won't forget you. Come visit us in Victoria!

update

So we've set a date to leave Chattanooga. July 22nd. Not very far away. House has not yet sold, but we are going to fly to PA to visit with my family for awhile on the 22nd, then go to Seattle for awhile, then finally get to Victoria around the middle of August. Trusting that God will bring someone to buy our house, whether now or after we leave. He has worked things out for us and confirmed this move in every other way.

Yesterday Kyle and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. My parents were here so they watched Rebekah while we went out for dinner. It was very nice to do that. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband,and looking forward to many more years! Speaking of my husband... he is finishing up his PhD very soon. On Thursday he will defend his dissertation. So there is a lot going on for us right now.

Warning... this next part may be rather depressing but just feeling the need to be honest right now. Actually feeling rather lonely right now after my parents leaving, and Kyle is at school working on his dissertation right now, and it is the 4th of July- a day when you usually do fun things with friends or family. Now I am so thankful for the friends we have had here in Chattanooga. But at this moment it feels very lonely, and I feel that there really aren't too many people I could celebrate this day with here. Okay, in general, Chattanooga has just been very lonely and a very disappointing place. I am feeling happy to leave. In fact I feel like I want to leave as soon as possible. But that is not where I want to stay emotionally. Kyle and I did not look for a way out, despite the loneliness we have felt here in Chatt. It was very clear that God wanted us here, and we were prepared to stay here for a long time. Now that God has made it clear it's time to go, it is a struggle to know what these last few weeks should look like. It is easy to just want to run away. Usually, when leaving a place, I expect to feel like there are lots of people I want to see and say goodbye to. And there are some people I do want to see, and there have been some good friends here. But overall, it has been lonely. and in these last few weeks, I want to still embrace what ever God is teaching me or giving me or blessing me with. Whether it is done in the midst of loneliness and being alone, or whether I am in the midst of last moments with other people here. I want to embrace what is left here, and not just run away from here as fast as I can. that feels hard right now. but I will try. I will look to God to help me. and i am sure the He will bring the treasure out of this time.

Okay, a bit of happiness after my sad rambling. A cute photo of Rebekah, our biggest blessing in this Chattanooga desert. She is now rocking back and forth to music, beginning to push herself up on things, and generally growing and changing and being her wonderful happy self. Here she is in her red dress with a red spoon.

Well, it's been awhile! Rebekah started crawling about two weeks ago. She's now 7 months old. She is growing up so much! She doesn't seem like a baby anymore. She's got quite the happy personality. She's very vocal when we are at home, but when we go somewhere she is often more quiet, taking everything in. She is very content to play on her own. She was actually very fussy (for her) for a few weeks before she started crawling- but once she started crawling she couldn't be happier, as long as she is crawling around on the floor.

We have found a home for our dog, Faith. And possibly a home for our cat. I'm including some photos of Rebekah with them. She will miss them! she loves animals. Both our cat and dog have been so good with her. Rebekah can pull out handfuls of hair from our cat and our cat doesn't mind. (I try to prevent her from doing that, but every so often Rebekah gets to the cat or the cat gets to her before I can be there to oversee the interaction).

Things are lining up for our big move; the next big thing that needs to happen is for our house to sell. We've had some interest but no buyers yet. We have definitely found a great place to live in Victoria, so I'm very thankful for that. It is beautiful and I will post photos once we get there. Well, below are some photos (the date on the first one is messed up)...

Bucknell Baby!





People say Rebekah looks like me, and she does, but especially with her hair wet and curly Rebekah definitely looks like her Daddy..

God provides

This week I have been asking God to remind me and show me how he takes care of me. Because I realized last Sunday, when our pastor Bucky was preaching on this topic, that I don't really believe God will take care of me. he's always taken care of me in the past- not sure why i don't believe it. but i struggle with looking at people who are starving in other countries, or in hard situations, or I think about people dying suddenly, and I wonder- how did God take care of them? but ultimately it is being with God in those situations, believing God is there in those situations with those people even when they look really hard. and i've experienced that at times in the past- i've felt God's presence really strongly at times that were really hard, such as when my brother was using drugs or when a friend from college was in the hospital dying. as hard as those situations were, i experienced God more than i do in everyday "normal/good" life. God showed up in very incredible ways in both of those situations. So God has shown me this week some ways that he's taking care of me, both big and small. Big- it looks like we have found a place to live in Victoria, in our price range, but much better than we expected! a condo overlooking the inner harbor, fully furnished, within a few mintues walk of the beach, etc. I am so in awe of God's provision in this. Also, two people looked at our house- not too many, and no offers yet, but still i am thankful that someone looked at it. Rebekah got sick, but it was the day before i had scheduled a 6 month check up for her. someone is possibly interested in adopting our cat. and there have been other things as well. but mainly it is just getting more connected to God- actually feeling like He is taking care of me and will take care of me, in all circumstances. i am very thankful for that feeling of awakening in my heart.

getting big!

We recently had Rebekah dedicated at church. Here is a picture of us praying for her (Kyle's parents were here visiting). It was a very sweet time.


Kyle's Dad took the photo above and below. Above- before Rebekah's dedication, she decided that chewing on her shoes was lots of fun. The shoes didn't actually make it to her dedication.. they fell off.. but at least they kept her busy for a little while. Below, while I was feeding her, her foot suddenly popped up above the tray of her high chair. her feet are always ending up in strange places.

Below, Rebekah can move backwards and sideways quickly (not forward yet- but it won't be long). She was in the middle of the floor, and I left the room for a second, and this is where she ended up- half of her body is under the couch, but she didn't seem to mind.

green beans!

Above, a photo of Rebekah and Daddy bonding, below some photos of Rebekah eating green beans for the first time.

food!

last week we gave Rebekah some rice cereal for the first time. here are a few photos of her first experience with solid food (and one other random photo). She is also getting good at going up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth, and is almost starting to crawl backwards (can't go forward yet). Soon she will be moving all over the place!

update on us:

We are now trying to sell our house, and hoping to move to Seattle by the end of July. While in Seattle we'll stay with Kyle's parents and look for somewhere to live in Victoria, probably moving to Victoria sometime in August. this is an exciting time, but also a lot going on with trying to sell our house, kyle finishing up his PhD, finding homes for pets, getting rid of our stuff, etc., etc. Please pray for us that we'd be trusting God in this time and wouldn't feel overwhelmed by everything. Thankfully, both of our families are coming to visit in May to help us get ready for the move. We greatly appreciate that! And we appreciate all of your prayers in this time as well.

laughing video

Rebekah loves to laugh at our dog. She thinks it's really funny when the dog licks her or just walks by her. In this video I was trying to get our dog, Faith, to come over to Rebekah. She never did, but everytime I told Faith to get Rebekah, Rebekah would laugh either in anticipation of Faith coming or for some other unknown reason. Enjoy...

spring!

Took a little walk in the woods with Rebekah and took a few photos...

laughing video

Here is a video of Rebekah laughing with Daddy...

Bouncy Video

Be sure to turn up your volume if you can!

update

This week we set our moving date for sometime in August. In case you didn't know, we will be moving to Victoria, British Columbia for two years while Kyle does his post doctorate work at the University of Victoria. Exciting... but we have lots to do before then!
Here are some photos:

Rebekah really enjoys talking to and laughing at our dog, Faith.

She is so good at lifting up her head now when she's on her stomach!

This is such a great smile! She loves her bouncy seat that Grandma and Grandpa O got for her.

new photos

Rebekah has become friends with the teddy bear her great grandma made for her.


It's never too soon to start learning about gardening...


Laughing at Grandpa O.


Back in Lewisburg, PA while visiting Bucknell University.

more photos

"I've just learned how to hold things...and I still surprise myself sometimes- what's this in my hand??"


"Okay, this doll is a little cuter."


"What's wrong with my hair?"

the many faces of Rebekah

You can click on the photos below to see a larger version if you want to.
Rebekah is so cute when she wakes up... I had to take a few pictures.

Here she is looking like she is about to get into some trouble....

And below are a few photos of her after she's had a good nap and just filled up her tummy.


And even though I cut off part of her head in the photo below, I thought it was a great smile.

And, lastly, a family photo.